The New Marriage Killer

I’m pretty sure those who read the title would like me to get right to it… So here goes.  Marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world.  It’s been considered to be one of the most sacred and honored traditions for people who are in love.  It’s been since the beginning of time (at least from what we know).  Marriage is wonderful, and about two people sharing their world and their lives together.  Nothing in the world like coming home from a tough day and being there with your spouse, telling them how silly your co-workers can be, and how much you wanna quit that job (it’s great).  However, marriages, these days, are incredibly fragile.  They don’t really last that long. It’s unfortunate, but true.  With all that said, as good as it can be to be married, it’s not without it’s drawbacks.  That’s why people all over have come out in magazines with tips, and suggestions, on how to make a marriage better every day, week, and year.  The reason I’d say people talk about it so much is because being married just doesn’t seem as sacred anymore.  That’s why it seems like it’s so important to preserve.  It’s almost such a hot topic that writers of magazines almost jump  at the shot to create tips or write some type of interesting article giving advice or telling you when you should get married and when it’s over.  That’s also the reason why I would love to one day become a marriage counselor.  I believe that if I could put a small dent in the divorce rate (like .01 % at least), that I will have done something worth meaning.

Anyway…with that said, there are various internet articles, that mention the things that can kill every marriage.  Some of which include:  sex, finances, credit, in-laws, pornography, and selfishness, just to name a few.  But the one thing in this day and age that I believe to be rising towards the top of the list of marriage killers is….(DRUM-ROLL PLEASE)………you guessed it…….the smartphone.  The smartphone…wooooo…the d@#m smartphone as I like to call it. Galaxy 4, 5, Note III, IPhones (all 12 of them), and any type of phone that you can surf the internet on are starting to be the bane of marriage’s long existence.  There are some (like my wife) that would completely disagree, but trust me when I say, Smartphones are killing marriages slowly…very slowly in fact.

Smartphones allow us to venture off into the endless worlds of “everybody else’s business”.  The lives of movie stars, basketball wives, housewives (who have never had a job), and Kardashians.  You can even figure out what the FLOTUS and Oprah are doing for the weekend.   We dive so heavily into our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts to find and see the latest funny jokes (#suchandsuch BE LIKE) and pictures that are out there.  We don’t have to even really hear the person’s voice.  All we have to do is comment on this somewhat instantaneous form of communication.  So much so, that we often get caught up and forget that we actually have a real life, and real people next to us that we don’t have to “Like” or “Follow” to find out what they are up to.   I mean there’s almost no such thing as long distance phone calls any more (except for other countries), but the untimely duo of the smartphone and social media have even taken care of that.  So much so that spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends alike are no longer interested in talking to their significant others.  You try to watch a TV show together, and they are too busy tweeting during the show.  Too busy laughing at Instagram and vine videos to notice that the food on the stove is burning.  Too busy to notice the husband/wife’s frustration with your lack of attention.  Or that your kids are getting into things they have no business.  Marriages themselves suffer simply because of the fact that there’s no reason to talk anymore, unless we’re talking or commenting on the Instagram/Facebook posting we saw this morning while at work.  (oops..I think I told on some people).

Plainly put…I’m just saying that we need to pay more attention to our marriages and relationships with the people that are right in front of us, and stop pushing so hard to communicate over the internet.  As useful of tool as it truly is.  That’s all it is.  A tool to connect with those that aren’t there.  But think about this for a second…there’s a reason they aren’t there.  There’s a reason why they aren’t in front of us every day.  There’s also a reason why marriages don’t last the way the did long ago.  It’s because we don’t have to talk anymore.  We don’t have to get over our differences by actually verbalizing them, and communicating.  Pretty soon, social media and the “smart” phone will be replacing sex itself, because someone thinks it’s actually better than sex (GO FIGURE!!).  Unfortunately for some of us, it’s already too late….just saying…

More to come…

So You’re Gay…We Get It Already!!!

In writing this blog I’ve learned a few things, mostly about myself…1.) I’m reaaaally opinionated, and 2.) Not everybody will agree with the opinions that I have (not sure why, because I’m right most of the time).

With that said, over the past few years there has been an outcry for tolerance on the many social and civil issues of this country.  One of the hot topics being the coming out of celebrities and athletes of the proverbial “closet ” so to speak. Now I will preface this statement by saying that there’s nothing wrong with being gay.   That’s how I feel, that’s what I believe, it’s just me and what I think.  I do believe what the Bible says, about sexual immortality, but that applies to people straight and gay alike, but that’s not what we’re talking about today.  Today we’re talking about the apparent need to let everybody know that you’re gay.  The world apparently needs to know when some athlete is gay now.  The world needs to know when a singer is gay now.  The world apparently needs to know that gay people are here to stay.  To it all I say:  Fantastic. Great. You’re gay, I’m not. Who actually cares.  Yes, there is a lot of ignorance out there, but that will always be.  Homosexuality is becoming generally more accepted in most communities, families and homes.  Some would say that the level of tolerance is rising in the world.  Yeah, I guess, but I would say that  accepting someone’s sexual preference should be more about a love thing, and more importantly, minding one’s own business.

Here’s a story that no one’s ever heard about:  Michael Sam (not to single Mr. Sam out, but he’s just the most recent example so I’m picking on him).  In case you don’t know, Michael Sam, is a football player from the University of Missouri who last year came out to his team as a gay athlete.  He was accepted and loved by his teammates.  End of story right?  Wrong.  His next step after the college football season was to come out before the NFL combine to say that he was gay becoming the first possible and now professional “openly gay” football player to be drafted in the NFL.  It was pretty significant.  The courage he personified in a moment of adversity.  Now while it was courageous to do so, it doesn’t mean that it was necessary. Again this is all strictly how I see it.  I’m sure there are plenty of people in the NFL that are gay. Even though they haven’t come out publicly and said it, maybe some of their teammates know about it. Either way who cares. He had to know by doing do there, the media would be all over it. Especially in today’s society of over-hyped stories, he knew this would gain so much attention.  He also had to know that because of the of the ignorance of the world that it would most likely kill his draft stock. And it did. He was projected as a fourth or fifth round pick and he ended up being picked up near the end of the draft with slim chances to even make the team.  Now I believe he can play personally so him being gay doesn’t really matter, or does it?  To me, no, but to others, maybe it does.  Sam had a press conference (which no, and I do mean no 7th round pick ever has) saying this is “all about football”.  Seemingly acting as if the media attention didn’t matter.   One has to ask if he did this just for the publicity.  One could even go a step further after finding out that he was scheduled to have a reality show on Oprah’s TV network.  Coincidence…oh I’m not so sure anymore.  (UPDATE:  After the public outcry that Michael Sam might be CAPITALIZING on his new found stardom, the OWN network has since “postponed” the reality show)

I’m just saying that it’s not about who’s gay and who’s not, because a lot of us, friends and family probably already know before that person even says anything.  It just seems as though lately it has been forced down the throats of everyone with a TV set. Every TV show out there now makes sure they have a member of LGBT represented for fear of a lawsuit or protest.  Let me ask this same question.  Where is this line of thinking for those of African American descent.  Are we represented on every show.  What about those that are Christian or Muslim or Jewish, or Indian?  They don’t have much representation on the larger networks either (Guess the stories of those groups aren’t interesting enough).  That’s what I mean by who cares.  We get that you’re gay and if we are cool, it never made a difference in what you did in your personal time.  Just like it shouldn’t matter what religion you are.  But we have an issue with that, don’t we?  We don’t want Christians out there anymore do we?  We don’t want prayer in schools, or Bibles in hotels.  We call people of religion stupid and say that they believe in fairy tales.   People want equal rights, but don’t treat people of different backgrounds equally.  That’s where the problem lies.  It’s in the fact that we only want equality if it serves our own purposes…Just sayin’… It’s all about tolerance, right?  I guess I’m not so sure anymore.

More to come…