10 YEARS…STRONGER!!!

 

So here it is…I mean Here WE ARE…Heavon and I.  Me and Heavon.  Austin… I still love how that sounds.  AND truth be told there was a time when, A) I wasn’t sure if it would actually happen, and B) I almost made it end prematurely.  Today, on September 20, 2018 is a celebration of our 10th year of marriage.  Ten years of ups and downs.  Ten years of happy times and not so happy times.  Ten years of being amazing, and of…you guessed it, struggling.  And believe me when I tell you, we have.  Been all those things.  We’ve been so happy at times, that I felt like Luther Vandross in the sense of the song ‘NEVER TOO MUCH’, because her 1000 kisses were never enough.  And then there were times when I felt that I needed to get away from her.  Where she didn’t want me near.  And even if she did she was just too hurt by some of the things I had done to be what and who I wanted and needed at the moment.  But we survived…We survived a stint in the NICU when our daughter Samaya was born.  We survived the days of me sleeping on the couch, and us not talking.  The months of not knowing whether or not we’d be married the next year and how it would affect our children.  We survived it all, and I thank God every day for it.

What makes me most thankful is that I finally learned the most important thing about marriage.  I learned that it actually isn’t about falling and being in LOVE.  It’s about FORGIVENESS.  Not about the better days, but surviving the worse ones.  It’s about GRACE and being able to extend that very grace to someone when you believe they no longer deserve it.  I learned about that very thing when I had to be forgiven.  And because of that forgiveness, I learned how to forgive me as well.  I hope I am staying on subject with this whole thing…I guess I digress a bit, so bare with me.

This marriage has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I realize that without her, and I do mean Heavon (Garrett) Austin, there would be no me.  My parents gave me to her, and her parents to me, and she has never failed me (even when I thought she did).  She has been my best friend, my lover, my confidant through it all.  Through births, through deaths, there has been no one that I’ve wanted to be with more everyday of my life than her.  And while she would probably argue that I don’t have to see her everyday, I know that my life has been better with each day she has been.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to say that marriage is perfect, because mine isn’t.  It is however, gratifying.  It’s worth it, and NO the grass surely isn’t greener.  (Again, just water your grass).  It is the most extensive faith-walk one could ever know.  Man, there’s so much that I have learned throughout our time as one, that I can say it.  I LOVE HER.  That’s what truly matters.  And when it’s all said and done, what keeps me is that very thing.  It’s also knowing that the small things, while we can bicker over them, don’t really mean much in comparison to not being with her.  She is…my crown jewel.  My PRetty LAdy.  She’s my everything.  And truth be told, I almost kick myself on the days where I remember that I almost gave it up, for nothing at all.  Without her, there’d be no Samaya, no Garrett, etc…And that’s why I write this today.  On the day we celebrate us.

TO ALL Those who are married and un-married alike.  I say this…whatever anniversaries you celebrate.  Be proud of where you’ve come from.  Because I stand here with so much pride in not only what we’ve accomplished, but what we ultimately WILL get to.  THere’s no one in the world I’d rather have by my side.  I can’t sleep when she’s gone, I just can’t be without her.  And honestly.  I never want or wanted to be.  It’s always be you BABE!  Because of your smile, your laugh.  Even when you cry.  I always aspire to impress and become the man of your dreams.  Because you certainly are the woman in all of mine.  I’m not saying all this for kudos or to be sweet.  I’m saying this because It took about 10 years to really GET IT.  TO really understand that I could go out and be with someone else, and maybe find some type of happiness.  The truth is though, no one will ever be HEAVON.  The way the God made her, was literally made for me, faults and all…And as a man, I work every day to live up to that standard, that she helped me learn.  That’s why I am happy on the anniversary of our 10th year together.  Why I call it 10 years Stronger.  Because with each day, with each trial, each year.  WE become STRONGER.  Again, let me say this:

Thank you…for an AMAZING 10 years…and I’m praying for a million more with you.  I LOVE YOU!!