Archive | June 2016

The Truth About Consequences

In my life, I guess I could say that I’ve been in a relationship or two. Or three or four or five.  And in that time  I have experienced many different things. Some good, some, well . . . maybe I don’t wanna talk about.   I would say that in that experience, one of things that affected what I’ve gone  through most has been my ability to make decisions in those times. Whether I made the right decision,or did something I just wasn’t proud of.   And the thing that’s interesting about it all not the decisions that I’ve made, but the effects of them all.  No matter where I was in life, I’ve always tried to do the right thing.  Even if it wasn’t the most beneficial for me. I’ve done things to sacrifice for others and ultimately those same sacrifices were the ones that did me in.  They were the things that actually brought me the most conflict inside.

Some might ask why or how that could happen? Aren’t you supposed to help others?  Isn’t a man supposed to fall on the sword for his wife, his friends,  his family?  You know, I don’t quite know if I have the answer to that question, but I will say that there are many reasons why someone might do something, and all of those reasons aren’t as noble as one might think.  There is also the fact that those decisions, good, bad, or indifferent, have consequences attached to them. 

One of the main points that most may not quite understand is the consequences of our actions may be long lasting. Long lasting? What you talking about Willis?  We can’t go on in our relationships, our marriages, or different parts of our lives without knowing that.  Like I said before, there are good things and there are bad things. But the laws of physics suggest that for every action, there is a reaction, and the angles we come from are more important than we think. The bible itself even suggests that you reap what your sow. In other words you harvest the fruit of the seeds you plant. In everything.

Let’s take a relationship where the couple decides to split  One has made the choice to leave a place they have been in for x amount of years. They are leaving what they have  known, etc.   Let’s just say for the sake of conversation that in leaving, the care of the pets was not prioritized. Because the couple couldn’t decide on custody, one was left with the everyday care and the other left to see their dogs every other weekend. Or even worse, once a month. He may believe that he did the right thing in leaving the relationship, but there are still consequences as a result of that.
Let’s take heartbreak for another example. Just because someone is heartbroken from a break up doesn’t mean there still won’t be residual effects because of it. Those same affects from a previous situation may last days, months, or years.  Just know that..   Just know that there is always a certain amount of baggage that comes from our previous situations. Whether that is a “toothbrush” or s full on “suitcase with matching duffle bag”, there is rarely no carry over.

People just don’t realize that when we live life, We can’t just erase the things that we’ve done. Reason being is that the pages of life are not written in pencil, but in pen.  And not the erasable ink kind. And even still sometimes those same pages written in marker, and just any marker, I’m talking about that big fat pre-school marker that gets all over your hands and everything else.  We all know what a permanent marker can do to a book or notebook of blank pages, especially that thick black one. When we use marker we have to be careful not to press too hard, because not only can we mark up the page we’re on, but we can possibly mark through the pages after.  You’ve seen it where the pages have hints of the original marking, and you have to go on for multiple pages before you are unable to see the marks that occurred so many pages ago.  That is life in a nutshell. The decisions we make tend to have lingering affects on us. We go through times and situations that leads us from place to place in our lives.  And we often have no choice but to bring some of that with us. It’s our life’s experience.  It’s what some would dare to say is our greatest teacher. 

Here’s another example : let’s just say for the sake of conversation that you have a number of things you’ve done wrong financially and had to end up declaring bankruptcy. In your eyes, that was the last thing you wanted to happen, yet you almost couldn’t stop it. You made a slew of bad decisions and you got into a financial bind. So now you need assistance in dealing with those decisions. So you declare. You know it’s a process, but you may not even know the implications of having a bankruptcy on your record. The thing is, Bankruptcy takes time to get past depending on the chapter you file. For some it takes a few years and others it may take up to 7 years.  Many people only go through the process to be alleviated of their past bills. They don’t believe those mistakes will matter or affect them any more. The thing is, that in reality creditors can see that bankruptcy on your report.  And to some that means more than actually having paid off those collections that you had. At least in their eyes they would have showed paid. But the bankruptcy may tell them, that you can’t keep up with money or your finances and if there’s an issue you’ll take the easy way out(creditors don’t know nor do they care whether or not things are easy).

The thing is this. We do have to think about our decisions and be wise. Not only that, but we have to also find ways to get past our issues.  And even when we think we’re past them , it seems like some decisions will haunt us forever. Our decisions have an effect on others regardless of whether or not we have good intentions. I think that the main thing we need to understand is that our actions are what’s most important. Also having insight rather than hindsight on how things will affect us as well as the people around us that we claim to care so much more.  If you understand nothing else I’ve said in this you should get this right here:  while we can control every act we commit or do, we rarely if ever get to control the consequences. So make sure you choose wisely. There’s so much that depends on it.