Archive | July 2013

Trayvon

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Ah man…what can I say? What hasn’t already been said about the case where George Zimmerman was acquitted of a murder charge. I know what I can say….who cares….Zimmerman going to jail most likely wouldn’t have changed the racial dynamic of this country. Black folks will still believe that they’ve been wronged by the United States collectively. White folks will still say that black people are niggers and need to stop complaining because racism is dead. It’s better for you than it was for your parents 30 years ago, and 30 years from now, It will be better for your daughter.

Honestly, the best way to solve the issue is to admit that it still exists on both sides.  I’m not saying that it would have saved Trayvon’s life, because most likely it would not have. I’m saying that we all need to start taking responsibility for what has happened and what will happen. White folks, I’ll start with you. First and foremost Good Job on defending George. He got off and rightfully so according to the evidence presented. Secondly, saying that racism still exist is not a bad thing. I have friends who are white who think that the word nigger is still warranted.  They see black people who commit crimes, that just so happen to come from poverty and call them just that…nigger.  That’s who they believe we are.  They assume that most black people come from the hood or were raised up with nothing, causing us to rob and steal.  And they actually might be right about it because black people in general have bought into the idea.  It’s like we were sold something that was said to be so great, even though it actually did nothing for us, and we took the bait.  Saying all that doesn’t mean that the word “nigger” should be used or that people should think of us in that manner.  It’s almost difficult to think about white folks or blame them because they’ve been this way since the beginning of time. They’ve always wanted to poke their nose in other people’s business. They dislike every race but their own (and even their own at times). So who can blame them for what’s been passed down from generation to generation….

Answer…Everyone.

Now black people, or Niggas, it’s your turn. First and foremost, how can you blame white folks, Asian folks, or anyone else for using the word when we use it oh so well. Is it a term that invokes power in the individual that uses it? Sounds like it’s some magic sword like Excalibur or something like that. Do we look like a bunch of King Arthur’s men or anything of the sort. No. We have to learn some responsibility for all of this. I’m not saying that they wouldn’t still say it. It’s like a gay person using the word “faggot” as a term of endearment. It’s dumb and it’s wrong. It was never meant for anything except hatred. And to me that’s what it invokes. Back to the responsibility portion of the program. Black people, stop acting like “niggas”. Stop giving it power over us. We rob, and steal from one another, bring each other down with the so-called “crab mentality”, all with the precursor that we are doing it because we have no choice. I’ll bet the cats sitting in jail for 10+ years is thinking the opposite right now. He’s thinking he had a choice and he should have made that choice rather than sit in that jail cell like he’s doing currently.

http://townhall.com/columnists/patbuchanan/2013/07/26/black-americas-real-problem-isnt-white-racism-n1644184

Pat Buchanan wrote an article after the verdict that said the issue with black people isn’t racism, it’s that we commit most of the crimes out there. And he’s partially right. We do commit a lot of the criminal activity out there. Mainly against each other. My issue with this fool Pay Buchanan is that he can’t and will never understand the black experience. He’s not coming from the view of black folks. He’s coming from his own self righteous point of view that’s not God inspired. He just likes hearing himself talk. But I will say this, they can’t talk about us like that if we stop doing what they say we’re doing. What history says we are doing.

Black folks. If you’re still angry and upset about the trial and verdict, that’s cool. You should be. The prosecution messed up. They didn’t go after Zimmerman’s intent for something to happen. That’s where all the evidence was. The prosecution also allowed the defense to defame that young man’s character. They played hard off of his mistakes as a young black kid, and it worked. They believed he was enough of a troublemaker to warrant what happened to him. Like he brought upon himself. It was wrong. It was so wrong, but black people, we didn’t lose. His parents did truth be told. They lost their son, whom they can never have back. And it’s truly a sad story.  And we should me more concerned with keeping our children safe, than we should be the racial aspect of it.  But there are times when the two seem to go hand and hand

My belief in God tells me that when someone dies, it’s not about the person who died as much as it is about those left behind, and what they do with the news of the death. Are we going to be silly and riot like they did after the verdict on the streets of Oakland? ‘Cause yeah, that solved so much. Or are we going to go about making the changes in our own communities to prevent the perception that all of us are about that nonsense? That makes a whole woman clutch her purse because of what she saw on TV the night before. Black people can do their due diligence by not making movies where they are the thug or gangsta. By not being depicted as the local crack dealer in his own neighborhood, who cares nothing about his/her people. By being shown more a father who stays home on a Saturday night to spend time with his children. This is the part the white folks don’t know. The good black man or woman sans attitudes or weave or however you see us, is the true mainstream of black. We are not all we are perceived to be. In fact 8 out of 10 black people agree that all we want is a fair opportunity to be law abiding and good citizens. That’s what we care about. Our home, our families, and our children.

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Adversity

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Adversity is defined as a state, condition, or instance of serious or continued difficulty.  I’d say that having a baby 3 months early and worrying through the night whether or not she was gonna survive, was facing a little adversity.  When I look at this picture, that’s what I see…Adversity. I’d also say that having to wait 2 1/2 months to take her come, being at the hospital everyday, watching her do well only to see her have minor setbacks that delayed things was adversity as well. 

I mean, don’t get me wrong, having a daughter is the most blessed experience in the world.  She’s everything I could have ever imagined and hoped for.  She smiles and I smile.  She makes me laugh and she reminds me a lot of my twin sister, especially today when I saw her asleep with her fingers in her mouth.  But I have to say that having her and fatherhood has never been an easy adjustment for me.  There are times when she cries and I have no idea what she wants or needs.  She’s fed, she’s changed, and she’s just whiny…  Who knows, right?

But that’s just it.  I honestly wouldn’t take back those moments.  Those 2 months of being in the NIC-U.  The tears I cried when they had to put her back on the breathing tube.  Or when I made the bottle too hot, and burned her tongue (Oh man, that broke my heart!)  She been there the whole time.  We’ve learned each other, and been through the fire.  And we still have a long way to go.  But I know that I welcome that adversity.  And most people would say, be careful what you wish for, but I truly do. I believe that God positions us, and re-adjusts us with the things we go through daily.  Whether it be in marriages, or on the job, or just plain ‘ole everyday things.  I’ve seen so much, but I know others have as well.  And he has blessed me with growth because of it.  I watch Samaya Sky grow, and I know that I am growing too.  As she grows, my hope grows.  And I will teach her, that things happen to everyone, good or bad.  It doesn’t matter.  That’s just life.  But if she trusts in not only her ability, but her God, she can do all things…  That’s the best part about it all.  That’s what makes the sacrifice, and everything we deal with on a daily basis else worth while.

I can look to her and let her know that everything is going to be alright.  And even though she may feel pain, or have her heart broken at some point.  She will get through it.  Just l did.  Just as her mother did.  Just as her grandparents, aunts and uncles did.  That’s what we do.  We walk through the valley of the shadow of death.  We fear no evil, because He is with us.   You gotta love that thought!!!

More to come…

The Soundtrack of my Life

Music.

It’s said to be the soundtrack of life. I honestly believe that exactly what it is. It’s the way we describe ourselves. The way we show emotion when we can’t say it. Or its that tune that comes on the radio that says exactly what we are feeling at that very moment. I can’t lie. I love music. And listening to it. There’s nothing like it.

For me, my catalog consists of anything from gospel music to represent my more spiritual side. To Hip Hop, for the more edgy side of me that wants to hear the boom and the bass coming from the speakers. I think the side that truly speaks to my heart is the R&B side of music. It’s the side that I can relate to when I wanna get with someone. When I want to be sad about something, or just plain romanticize about something.

Today’s music is a bit out of walk for me, but I’d say there are a few goto’s out there for me. I’m mostly a 90s man. The songs I listen to mostly, the songs I’ve written all have an influence from that era. Even the poems I write sound like a 90s song. It’s just who I am. I’ve always wanted to be the most romantic cat of all the people I know. I just wanted people to know that Jo matter what, love was on my mind. 

Just today I was listening to Drake, J. Timberlake, and Xscape of all groups. Told you, I love music, and hood music at that. It represents me even at this moment. I’m thinking of Johnny Kemp, “Just Got Paid” cause I can’t wait till payday tomorrow. Hahaha. That’s where I’m at with mine. Later on I’ll probably be thinking bout some Boyz II Men or some Freaking You by Jodeci. Okay. Maybe that was a little too much. You catch my drift. Music will always be an important part of life. It shows us a different way to get our points across and tell each other how we feel.

Addiction

I stood there and started out by saying
That I’d never done it before
Never had I met someone quite like you
Anticipating you, not even touching
But already thinking about more

I heard about your effect on men
But for some reason I had to see it for myself
And I when I finally did
I became a lost case
There was no remedy, no help

You have become my drug of choice
Every moment I spend with you is ecstasy
Crying out so loud, I lose my voice
And that’s not to say that I can’t talk
I just don’t want to
Because words can’t compare to the moments
I spend just kissing you

Licking my lips getting ready for the first hit
I think about the way your exterior lining accentuates your curves
You already know what’s on my mind so you take everything off
Without me having to say a word

I’m so into you
And it seems as though it took absolutely no time
You’ve become my cocaine
All I do is fantasize about your lines

And this is not me throwing you a line
It’s me telling you
That there’s nothing I could have done
I just didn’t stand a chance…
The one thing I’m sure about…
Is that my addiction to you is real
And it all started from a glance

So be gentle with me
I’ll take anything you got
When I get high from you
It relieves me in all the right spots

You’re smoke surrounds me
And scent caresses my clothes
This is a secret I’ll always have
Don’t worry, I’ll never tell a soul!!

Just Talk to Me

So here’s the thing

I have a thing about me, where I like to be talked to.  I like for people to communicate with me and let me know what’s going on in their life.  I would say that it’s more of a reciprication thing for me.  So I don’t necessarily understand not being spoken to.  I don’t always understand when someone is quiet or withdrawn, even though I can be the same.  So I immediately jump to the conclusion that there’s something wrong.  And maybe there is.  Maybe I spend so much time trying to read people rather than actually communicating with them.  Maybe it’s that I just don’t ask enough direct questions.  But Like I said, here’s the thing…You don’t have to be THAT MUCH of a mystery.  All you have to do is say is that you don’t wanna answer the question. 

Okay, Okay…I’m new to this blogging thing, and maybe I shouldn’t be that vocal about things.  Mysterious people are only cool to a certain extent.  At some point it just becomes frustrating.  Do me a favor mysterious people.  Be mysterious when nobody’s talking to you!  That way, it will work out for you and everybody else.  WOOSAH!!!  Maaaaannn that’s so frustrating.  It gets on my nerves a little.  I like to explore and find out things just as much as anybody, but if you can’t answer a question like, “How was your day?”, “Do you want to be with me?” “What type of stuff do you like?”  Really?  We don’t need to be talking then.  I’m just saying…

My bad…this was a bit of a rant…but I’m just getting some things off my mind, as I occassionally will.

More to come…

Let’s Start From Here…

ImageHebrews 11:1-3

 11 1-2 The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.  3 By faith, we see the world called into existence by God’s word, what we see created by what we don’t see. 

So this…is what I wanna show people through this blog.  Yes, I’m a guy that has a lot of feelings.  That likes to joke and laugh and carry-on.  But there’s definitely more to me than just what I feel.  There’s also what I truly believe to be true.  I believe in Faith…I have Faith.  Granted I don’t know if we as people will ever fully understand it, but that’s just it.  It’s about believing in something that you will never fully understand.  Something that you can define with color.  Something you can’t see.  Something or Someone greater than you. 

Some believe in God.  Some believe in Allah, Buddha, whomever.   But either way, they believe in something.  I’d rather be that person that believes in something and find out that there’s nothing there, than the opposite.  Than the reverse.  My faith is the very thing that keeps me going.  Like the Message Bible says:  It’s what makes “life worth living”.   And that’s such an amazing way to describe it.  I believe that my life is worth living.  And I believe that every day is a new day. 

I know that sometimes we go to work, and we get into our modes, where everything seems to feel the same.  Like we’re going through some type of Groundhog’s day type of thing.  I guess I’d say that there is truly more to life than what we see at work.  We get to see and have relationships with different types of people all the time.  And while my faith at times may seem like it wavers.  It does not.  My faith is evident in who I am.  I see proof of faith in my daughter everyday.  Born 3 months early, 2 lbs 5 oz.  So tiny, and today she’s healthy at 7 months.  She smiles and I see God and what he has done.  That’s what I believe in.  I believe I wouldn’t have made it here on my own.  I believe that God has placed others around me that allow me to see His goodness.  That show me how to triumph over life’s struggles.  Yeah, that’s how amazing He is.  That’s what it’s like to have faith.  A peace of mind that can’t be taken away, by losing a job, or by calamity, or bad things that happen.  My struggles and my hurts, are all worth it, because of my faith.  I would say I don’t know how to describe it, but that’s just it.  I know exactly what it’s like.  I look back on the things I’ve gone through: Watching my parents separate and divorce, then get married again.  Seeing family members lying in coffins, yet seeing smiles on peoples faces, that are mourning yet celebrating at the same time.  Breakups to Makeups.  Friendships lost and new ones created.  Yep I believe…I truly believe in what some call a “greater power”.  

 And this isn’t here for me to judge what or who someone else believes in.  You can believe what you want.  My only thing is, don’t condemn me, because of what I believe.  Don’t say that it’s a fictional storybook.  Don’t say that it’s corruptible   Don’t say that man wrote it, so it has to be wrong. Just say, I believe differently.  That’s all.  We don’t have to tear each other down on every possible occasion   My faith can love you, for who you are.  For where you’re from, and for what you’re going through currently or have gone through in your past.  That’s the part of me, I don’t get to show often.  That’s the part of me that has me singing in the hallways everyday.  That’s the part of me that has a clean and generous heart.  That’s the part of me that can Love Hard and forever.  My faithful part.  My faith is what I need to get by.  What you need is what you need.  No judgments from me.    You are who you believe you are.  

 That’s something I had to learn for myself…something I will teach my child, and hopefully something she will teach her children.  It’s what I call, a “generational blessing.” 

Faith…not religion…faith meaning spirituality!!!