Archive | October 2013

Black People are too D@MN sensitive!!!

I’m not gonna lie…I might piss some people off with this…

But my title says it all.  Black people, black folks, African-Americans (however we are classified today), are really starting to get a little more sensitive than we should be with things.  And this is coming from a black man, who is pretty secure, and fairly knowledgeable in what has happened to black people historically.  And with that, I mean in terms of  slavery, apartheid, civil rights, etc.  White folks have caught hell for doing so many things, believe it or not, some of which they aren’t SOLELY responsible for.

I guess I’ll just come at this from two angles:  The first of which being, “REALLY?  LEAVE THEM ALONE, IT WAS A JOKE”.  The second being, “YOU CAN’T be SERIOUS IN THINKING THAT’S NOT RACIST!!”

“REALLY!!!??? LEAVE THEM ALONE, IT WAS A JOKE”.  

Alright black people, it’s time for some truth here:  Leave Julianne Hough alone.  She’s catching so much flak off of her costume as “Crazy Eyes” from the show Orange Is the New Black!!  She apparently dresses up with brown face paint and her hair looking all kinds of crazy, with a name tag that had the picture of the character off the show.  To me she looked funny.  I just finished reading an article from the Huffington Post, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-cadet/blackface-halloween-costumes_b_4173614.html) basically stating that people would’ve known who she was even if she hadn’t worn the makeup.    Com’on black folks…You know that’s not true!!  For real, everybody, hold all your calls to the NAACP, and don’t riot on this one.  It’s Halloween for goodness sake.  This is clearly not an example of her making a statement about how she feels about black people.  Don’t get me wrong, every white alive should know not to dress up as a black person simply off the fact that my race has been through soooooooooooo many things at the hands of white folks (sorry white people).  But at the same time, not every person we meet or see on tv is out to make black people look like a buffoon.  She was emulating a character on a show that a lot of us watch.  If you’ve ever seen the show, we all know that Crazy Eyes is crazy.  She’s also black.  She’s a actress who chose to play that character, knowing that people may ultimately think she was funny and want to make light of that.  She (Julianne Hough) said sorry, let’s get over it and stop being so sensitive.  She’s not without forgiveness.  She doesn’t have a history of racism, but when we as black people see her now, we’re obviously going to see Paula Deen, DON IMUS, or Rush Limbaugh.  For REAL!!!  Let’s not forget that people like Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, and Martin Lawrence have all done skits where they’ve dressed as a white man.  And we all laugh and think it’s completely hilarious, but not racist, because let’s face it:  It’s much funnier to be a white man than a black man, right?!

“YOU CAN’T be SERIOUS IN THINKING THAT’S NOT RACIST!!”

The next thing I wanna say is to everyone!! Racism is real, it exists, and there are a lot of white folks, and other races that make fun of the wrong things.  POINT BLANK!!!  If any knows the history of black face, you will understand what I’m saying.  Black-face came about when acting in shows, blacks were not allowed to be there, and therefore a white decided to put black face paint on and act like as if they were slaves or Mammy or something else that was completely offensive.  Then when we were allowed to be in plays and things of that nature, they made us, (black people) wear that same black face paint to accentuate our color to say that was how white people viewed us…That SH@#T pisses not only me, but other black people off.

Image

Understand that this picture I inserted is the very reason why no white person can EVER wear dark face-paint or makeup.  It’s the reason why black people are so sensitive to things of a racial nature.  Just like, when people see us talk a certain way, or like we’re not educated, or as if we’re gonna rob you just for looking at us, it’s just that.  There are PEOPLE OF EVERY RACE, COLOR, AND CREED, that can and will take things too far.  And This picture is un-called for, and COMPLETELY RACIST!!!  An apology for something like this, is definitely not acceptable.  There’s no going back from a picture like that.  That’s why it’s so tough to trust white people or to think that they have our best interest at heart.

Let me just talk for a minute and be honest.  I have plenty of white friends, and they have black friends, and friends of other races.  I don’t look to them as if they are racist or anything.  I am however, aware of the fact that they don’t always have the filter necessary when dealing with certain black people.  On the other hand, I know some black people who go too far out of their way to point out that white folks are racist and have every intention of stabbing us in the back their first chance.   To those people I’d say, “Get over it!  Because there are plenty of black people who will stab you in the front, just to get ahead, because that’s what they believe they are supposed to do.  It’s the “Crab Mentality.” I will say this to blacks as well.  Stop being so sensitive.  A lot of white folks could care less about race.  The only way we can begin to live in some type of harmony with other races is to embrace our differences and laugh at each other, because all of us do silly things, and things that will require forgiveness.   Don’t take what I’m saying wrong, because that day obviously is a ways off, and white people do, in fact, need to address those groups of individuals that have a serious problem with blacks.  Unfortunately history has shown far too many examples of whites treating blacks like second class citizens.  They don’t have a problem with us winning the Superbowl for them, but they do have a problem with us Running a Country that they’ve run for over 200 years.  That’s obviously another story for another day.  That’s just how I see it!!!

More to come…

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7 Rules to Obtain the Perfect Marriage

Whoever said that marriage was hard, was probably in his/her day considered a genius.  And for those of us who are married, one might think the saying is a complete understatement (I know I’d like to think so).  Such that,  the market seems to be flooded with an extreme amount of self-help books and “inspirational” messages on how to keep a good marriage.   I can’t think of a day where I didn’t see an article in a magazine or on the internet giving lessons or tips on “How to keep your Marriage Going”, or “Take your Marriage from lukewarm to HOT LIKE FIRE!!!”.  Some people it helps and others it does not. Well fear not because I’m here to give everyone the basis of what makes a perfect marriage.  That’s right I said it.  I HAVE THE FORMULA to make your marriage so great, that one could call it perfect.  With that said, from here on out, you can just acknowledge me as the official “Marriage Aficionado”.  Are you ready, here it comes:

  1. Give up on the thinking that there is such a thing as a perfect marriage – To say that marriage is something that can be perfect would be like cheating yourself.  That’s why Jesus never got married.  It would’ve ended up with a Perfect “Being” with someone who wasn’t perfect.  Just as with us, you have two imperfect people trying to do the best they can to co-exist, and not get on each other’s nerves.  I mean for real.  They say marriage is what you make of it, and most times we don’t try as hard as we should to make it.  It’s best to understand that there is no perfect marriage, but if the two of you work hard at it, you will be able to deal with your bumps as they come.  And they will come.
  2. Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, and more Sex – So I don’t know if you understood where I was going with this so I’ll just say it.  YOU SHOULD BE HAVING SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE.  For those who believe in the Bible, it’s in there.  It says that you should not withhold from your better half (1 Corinthians 7 for those who wanna do the research).  Ladies, and some men (still can’t believe those men exist), if you don’t think sex is important in marriage, try going without.  I promise your spouse won’t wait for you to get your act together.  Sex is a form of physical communication between the parties, and without it, there will be times where you don’t feel as though you’re on the same page.  Without it, you may exhibit symptoms such as crankiness, arguing, aggravation, and just plain anger to name a few.  I can’t say this one enough.  Have SEX.  Did I mention you should be having Sex!??  What you won’t do, another WILL!! Please believe!!…
  3. Your Spouse comes before your kids – I may come under fire for this one, but it’s the truth.  When you have kids, it should be an “US vs. THEM” type of situation.  Again, if you believe in what the bible says, even if you don’t, you must take care of home before venturing out into the world.  People with children often would do anything for their kids, and rightfully so.  But truth be told, children aren’t a reason to stay with someone.  And that is probably the number one reason for couples that have been together 15+ years.  “I stayed for the kids”.  If that’s your reasoning, you can go ahead and leave.  Kids are more resilient than we give them credit.  Don’t get me wrong, children do in fact need multiple parents, because it is hard to raise kids on your own, or with someone for that matter.  My reasoning for this is that, if you do in fact love your spouse, you will realize, once the kids are gone off to college, or work, or wherever:  The person that will remain, IS YOUR SPOUSE.  So remember him/her when your kids, act like they don’t wanna call after moving away from home.
  4. Talk Even If it hurts – This may be one the simplest of all things to know, yet seems to be the hardest to do.  When I say this, you might be thinking “do we have to?” Yes it’s mandatory.  I remember when my sister Leah, got married, and my father gets up and gives them the best advice that you can ultimately give newlyweds.  “TALK”  That’s all he said, when all else fails, “TALK”.  So simple, yet so profound.  There have been many a couple who have not stood the test of time, simply because they couldn’t talk to one another.  Communication is key for a situation that you plan on being in for the next 30+ years.  If you’ve ever seen the movie Life.  Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence went through a period of 30 years without talking to each other, over a disagreement.  It was funny in the movie, but I promise it’s not as funny when you’re the one not being spoken to.  I don’t want that to be  your marriage.  Arguing is okay, and it’s healthy to get out your frustrations, especially when they have to do with the party lying next to you every night.  I’d say don’t go to bed mad, but hey, it happens…TALK IT OUT In the Morning.  Sometimes you’re gonna have to sleep on it.
  5. She’s not the only one that’s crazy – Trust me, this rule is probably for me especially.  Whenever I fight with my wife, the first thing that crosses my mind is, “She is crazy, and I don’t know what she’s talking about!” But the truth of the matter is, I’m probably the one that’s driving her crazy.  Look, everyone comes with their own set of baggage, which will cause disagreements between the two of you.  The thing about that is, learning to consolidate your baggage into one bag, instead of two.  Learning to solve problems as a couple, rather than on your own.  This one especially goes for matters of a financial nature.  Too many times, have men tried to solve all their problems with money on their own, only to cause more debt.  Trust me, she didn’t create that crazy.  You did!
  6. Divorce is not an option – People argue, and fight all the time, even when they’re not married.  A fight does not spell the end for your marriage – no one particular issue should mean the end of your marriage.  In today’s world, people breakup for the smallest things.  Marriage is about love.  I’ll say that again.  Marriage IS ABOUT LOVE.  You met and got married because you believed in your heart that there was no one else that complimented you the way he/she does.  Besides, no one gets married to get divorced (unless you’re in Hollywood). And divorce should only be the last resort when you have exhausted all possibilities.  I’m not saying divorce won’t happen, but when a couple still has love for one another, I’d say that there’s something worth saving there.   And last but not least…
  7. Have a little faith – I didn’t say keep God first because that should be a given. Doing so actually helps to put things in perspective. Marriage takes an unlimited amount of faith for it to work. You have to actually trust and rely on someone else to be strong even when you can’t be. No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t believe strongly that things will work out even in the tough times. I know I wouldn’t. My faith has helped me get through things, but just because I believe doesn’t mean that I can believe for you. You have to take it upon yourselves to believe that you took or made those vows for a reason. And that “for better or worse” vow truly has to mean something to you. Or else you may not have what it takes to make it.   If you want me to spell it out I will, YOU SHOULD PUT GOD first!!

Truth be told:  Nobody can tell you how to make your individual marriage better.  The Rules mentioned above, are merely a foundation.  There’s so much more that goes into each marriage.  That’s something you have to figure out for yourselves.  But like I said, marriage is a true test of faith, no matter what you believe.  It takes a lot to keep it going, and to keep it prospering.  Treat it like your car in the sense that every 10 to 20,000 miles, you may require a tune up.  A trip out-of-town, away from the kids.  Renewing of your vows, or something as simple as watching your wedding video every year on your anniversary to remind you what you have.   It’s not about that 5 to 10 year thing to make it successful.  It’s about it, being a forever thing.  A from death do us part thing!!

More to come…

The Real Housewives…Oops..I mean Preachers of LA!!!?

The Preachers of LA…

Reality TVs latest casualty.  Just when we couldn’t get enough of the Housewives LA, ATL, Basketball Wives, R&B divas, and my favorite, Love and HipHop, we now have the Preachers of LA.  I wouldn’t necessarily call this the official review of the show, but more or less a few observations of what I saw.  I mean there’s so much that we can talk about when it comes to this.  I would say first and foremost, there are gonna be people that watch the show just so they can speak about the negativity that comes with churches and people of the cloth and pulpit.  So with that said, let’s just go with “haters gon hate”, and that’s really all I can say about that.  This show is only one episode old, and has already invoked so much controversy.  From that of a former Crip leading a ministry from the driver’s seat of his Bentley, to the gospel singer seeking redemption with his “comeback” concert.  It already seems laughable from that point of view, but let’s not forget, this is “reality” tv.  

While I would say that there are some bad things in this show, I’m not going to just harp on that.  I will speak about what I believe is the purpose of this show.  I gotta start with the negative stuff first though.  So I’ve read many articles saying “Why would these pastors subject themselves to a reality show, when they know they will just focus on the negative?”  That’s actually a fair question, and believe me, this episode did in fact have a lot of negatives.  The Bishop that seemed to care more about getting paid, than spreading the gospel.  When asked if there was a ministry that couldn’t afford to pay his entourage, would he still go, he replied, then I wasn’t lead to be there.  Of course, that’s me paraphrasing what he said.  Now I’m not saying that he meant it to be negative, or that we actually heard the whole conversation, but that my friends, was a little negative and/or a bit condescending.  The truth is that the word of God is free, and that you don’t need money to hear it.  Second truth is that, those who don’t agree with his message, don’t have to watch or attend his church service.   Another truth is that he’s a show that claims to be reality tv, but most of us know that in “reality television”, most of the actual truth is pretty skewd at times, and rarely shows exactly what happened in a particular situation.  

This show was actually kind of a struggle to watch, because I myself, am all about the prosperity of anyone who believes in God.  And while we won’t always see the people of God prospering, it does happen.  I’m okay with a pastor being rich, and having money, the same way I’m okay with Diddy or Drake, or Kerry Washington having money for their gifts as well. That’s part of our issue in the world.  These are people and they should be able to receive some of the same luxuries that others have.  Of course, not at the expense of the people.  I hear people say all the time, well the pastor is rich, and the members of the congregation are poor and struggling.  So the truth about that is, most of the prosperity churches generally have seminars, and ministries on how to better yourself, with family, relationships, and especially financial matters, it’s just that some of the members of the congregation don’t generally take advantage of them.  They don’t walk up to wealthy or successful people and say, “hey, can you tell your story” or “can you show me some of the things you did to get to where you are?”  That’s the problem with us, we are like the proverbial “crabs in the bucket”, and we don’t want others to be successful if we aren’t.   We are the people that put pastors on a higher pedestal.  We hold them in a higher regard, because they lead people.  We make sure they are fed first at events, and they get praise at their anniversaries.  That’s stuff “we” choose to do that’s not in the Bible, but we do it anyway.  Then when they fall, we are that much more harsh on them.  We have to take a little responsibility in this too.  I will say this though, some of the cast do seem as though they care about the fame a little more than others, with their bodyguards carrying, their suitcase, while their “assistant” carries his personal belongings.   I’ll leave it at that.  

I saw a tweet that Fred Hammond (gospel artist and minister) said… He basically said that the people who won’t celebrate these people on the show for their success, are the same people who will be watching and celebrating Scandal on Thursday nights!!  Ouch Fred!! That hurt.  He’s right though, I do love Scandal (#Good Jake/#Bad Jake, LOL!).  And while Fred is correct in his assumption, most celebrate the show Scandal for it’s great script and “dramatic fiction”  That’s just it!  It’s definitely fiction and we all know that.  The thing about the Preachers of LA is that it’s not fiction, and there are members of the clergy out there, that love the money, and the fame, and the Word of God tends to take a back seat to the politics of everyday church and them making that money, or getting their in the mainstream markets.  

Look, I know what we saw in the first episode wasn’t all good, but there are some good things that can come from this show.  People need to see that God is able!  That He has an extreme amount of grace (unmerited favor).  Enough to take a gang-banging killer that used to be a Crip, and put him in a place where he can do some extreme good.  Where he can redeem those who have been in bad places before, and we all have been in bad places.  That’s real.  That’s the reality of the whole thing.  No one cares, that they have nice cars, in fact, a lot of us want a nice car.  We do however care about the fine line that comes between having that nice car, and loving all that the secular world can offer.  Don’t condemn a prosperity preacher for talking about having good things, because we all want good things.  And most of them got those things they have, by serving the Lord, and His purposes.   We should all be so lucky.  I’m not saying that this will be the show for you, but you should give it a chance to catch some steam so we can start seeing some of the positive ways, that these men help people, through GOD to change lives. 

More to come…