2018: New Year, New Victory!!!


I haven’t done this in a while, but it’s time.  And usually at the beginning of the year I would do more of a year in review, but this year I’m starting off being something different. Doing something different.  Rather than recap the past two years and talk about how crazy they have been,  I am going to do what I believe God has wanted me to do all along.  I am claiming the Victory!!! 

Have you been to war, Jason?? Not quite.  At least not the way all of you might imagine. I didn’t fight any battles, take up arms, in a literal since. But I did fight. Over the past two years I’ve been doing a lot of fighting. Fighting my family,  fighting people I couldn’t see and fighting myself.  I even fought with my wife and God over some things.  More like a lot of things. 

In the battle for self and knowing who I am, God saw me through some serious trials.  He taught me that I wasn’t the leader I proclaimed myself to be.  He also showed me what I looked like in the mirror (And believe me i wasn’t as sexy and beautiful as i think i am).  I actually saw myself being judgmental of others and their situations. He had a way of reminding me that my mind could take me places I never wanted to go if I allowed it to.  Dark places…very dark places. The lessons learned brought me to this place. To 2018. But before I got there I had to almost literally lose everything. And I say that with a grain of salt because the truth of the matter is that a lot of us allow our circumstances to dictate what we do. I wasn’t losing everything so much as I was allowing what I had gone through to loosen my grip on what I held dear.  I was almost giving up.

Finding yourself and who you really are can be painful and hurtful, but I promise it’s worth it.  A few days ago, while in church, I heard the pastor speak a message about being a dreamer. And in understanding our dreams we must let go of the expectation that everyone will be able to go with us on the journey we are about to embark on. That’s so true for me.  I had to give up some things, and people. And it wasn’t necessarily giving up on the people in general.  It was just weighing out the importance of them being in my life going forward.  I also had to release some of my own preconceived notions that I previously held on to.  In other words I had to change. Because where I was headed couldn’t hold the weight of my past.

I know it sounds cryptic but some of you have gone through similar things. Ranging from marital issues to a war with your mind. Many others have also had financial trouble.  But like they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. Times when you have to just do things differently. Stop talking about things and just be the things. Take a leap so to speak.  Trust me I know that stepping out on faith is a huge risk, and sometimes you’ll fall flat on your face. And believe me. I rarely feels like any good is coming out of it.

So where does this victory come in to play???

Well…here it is…God saved me…from myself. He restored my home,  and my family. He renewed my mind.  And not only that, but solidified and put me back together, stronger than ever. I honestly didn’t believe it was possible for him to do some of what He’s done.  I’m not afraid to give credit where it is due.  He became the calm in my storm and showed me that everything I ever wanted was right in front of me. And I didn’t have to venture out to go get it because He had already answered so many of my prayers. I was also able to get my life and mind back into focus on the things I wanted not just for family, but for me. To all you out there that want to be married and yet somewhat single. Prepare for your marriage not to work. Because if you haven’t discovered by now that being married to someone is a symbiotic process. You are an Individual to some degree but when you realize that you represent something greater than just you,  that’s when the real process starts to take over. And you have to trust that process.  And while to some those aren’t huge victories.  They are victories nevertheless.  Plus if you can’t learn to celebrate when you get something small, you’ll never appreciate when the big breakthrough comes.

My mother in law told me that working things out is tough, but it’s like rebuilding a road. At first it gets torn up and looks so ugly. Laden with potholes and cracks throughout the street. After tearing it down you get to lay down some new asphalt filling the holes and inconsistencies. You even get to make some of the original things you couldn’t see right. The street then gets flattened and smoothed over and ultimately has a brand new finish. The surface is made better than before….

A process for me to live by…one that is tangible

So what are my parting words after such a victory in the fact that I made it through? Here goes:

Be loving. Be truthful, faithful, and forgiving.  And that love won’t fail. Ever. Trust in God. Trust in God. Trust in God. That’s the victory. The victory is knowing that no matter what 2016 or 2017 looked like. 2018 is here. And we don’t have to dwell on what was. Let’s move forward and be grateful for what is. Is it perfect? …not yet. But it’s still incredible in its own right. And that makes me…dare I say. Happy…

More to come…800px_COLOURBOX3326512800px_COLOURBOX3326512

More to come…


About jaisynaustin

What I write about is life...The way it changes and affects me every day. Love, heartache, and Mystery in relationships.

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