I got a BIG E.G.O.!!!

It’s too big (big)

It’s too wide (wide)

It’s too strong (strong)

It won’t fit (fit)

It’s too much (much)

It’s too tough (tough)

He talk like this ’cause he can back it up

He got a big ego

Such a huge ego

I love his big ego

It’s too much

He walk like this ’cause he can back it up

As I sit here snickering to my self, I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t know what Beyoncé was talking about when she came out with this song.  My first thoughts were, “Oh She Nasty”.  After that were, “Yep, I like that, that’s true (LOL!!)!!”  I do really like that song.  It’s a good song, but at the same times it talks about a subject that a lot of women find it difficult to get into.  The male ego.  Even though the lyrics of the song are somewhat suggestive and sexual, the underlying message is clear.  Women have to be unafraid to cater to the male ego.  I know what you’re thinking, “Jason, why should I have to cater to an ego, after all doesn’t that mean the man is just being overly sensitive or a punk?”  Maybe…I get it.  You don’t wanna have to submit to a man’s every desire, his wish is not always your command.  I truly do, but then again, there’s an alternative.  Your relationship could be over very soon, or the marriage you’ve spent so much time trying to have could fail, when you could’ve done something about it.  Hmmm.  What you won’t do, another will, right?  Thought so.

 

Anyhow, Let’s dive in…

Ego is defined as the part of the psyche that experiences the outside world and reacts to it.  I’d say that’s a pretty solid way of putting it.  The thing is, the definition suggests that there aren’t different types of egos.  The male ego is definitely different from anything else in the world. I say that because it’s a fragile one.  Right… But what exactly makes it so fragile. I’ll tell you.  Men seem to require things that most women don’t even think about. And here’s a secret ladies. A lot of it doesn’t necessarily involve sex.

What do you mean, Jason?  We all know that all men think about is sex and how they can get it. They think about when the next time is going to be. They think about how many times a week they can get it. They gotta have it. Show me an who isn’t all about sex and I’ll show you a woman!!  Wow. Pretty strong statements. And yes you made some points, but ultimately you’re wrong. Yeah, I said it.   You’re wrong if you think all men want is sex. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’ll do in a pinch. And everywhere else too, but it’s not the thing that gets us up in the morning or makes us wanna pay some bills. It’s not the thing that motivates us to do better. To make something out of ourselves,  or to be devoted husbands or father’s. Or even a great boyfriend.

Again, don’t get it twisted, men do want SEX!!  Trust me we do, but we also want someone whom we can tell our secrets to.  We want to be told that we are desired, because after all, we live for the thrill of the hunt.  We are like predators.  Not sure if that sounded enticing, but Hey, there it is.  While we love the thrill of the chase, we also wanna know that if we get tired, a woman will slow down a lil bit, to make us feel like we’re getting closer to our goal.  It’s not that we’ll stop, we’ll always run to you and after you.  There are just times when you have to make sure to let us know, that you’re still the same gazelle we’ve been chasing all along.

Got another thing to tell you. The secret to every successful relationship out there is….(drumroll please….)  INTIMACY!!!

If you guessed it, then I gotta hand it to you, you must have a pretty good relationship on your hands. Intimacy is defined as a close familiarity or friendship ; a closeNess. See the mistake that most make is that intimacy can come from sex.  When The truth of the matter is that sex can come from intimacy, but not the other way around.  You have so many people trying to hold on to their relationship or marriage with a physical connection when the truth of the matter is the physical only last for a bit. But when it’s psychological. It really matters.   It also has the tendency to last a lifetime.  You ever think about a relationship where one person dies, and then a few years later, the other is not far behind?  Those are the relationships where the couples are so intertwined that it’s almost as if they cannot live without each other.  SO when one goes, so must the other, because they are just that connected!!!

Ladies, here are a few questions you may have to ask yourself.  How many times have you told your man he’s sexy? Or better yet, how many times lately?  When you told him, did you pinch him, touch him, smile at him?  Have you ever called him just to say I miss you today and I can’t wait to see you?  Or maybe, I wanna rip your clothes off right now, and I gotta have you?  Not only saying that, but then keeping that same feeling all the way till you get home, or to a place where you can fulfill that want/need?  Wooo.  That’s what I’m talking about. I need somebody to tell me they want me. Not just once, but the moment they felt it.  Or when we first see or talk to each other. Tell me you Love me. Tell me you need me. Tell me you want me. I guarantee if you matter to him, he will respond.

All I am trying to say is that while sex can be a vital part of any relationship, it’s not ultimately the thing that will sustain it, or keep it from dying.  The actual communication, intimacy, occasionally accompanied by some touching goes a long way.  When I say occasionally, I don’t mean once every other month, y’all… I mean the rubbing of the back, or feet (I guess).  Handholding, maybe even scratching that palm to let him know, it’s about to go down!!!  What about, a nice moan when you touch him to let him know he’s still sexy to you, without even having to say it.  Our ego is so strong.  We need to feel wanted, Loved, Needed, and like the sexiest cat on the face of this earth.  We need to know that it doesn’t matter if there are other brothas out there, you just want us.  Trust me ladies, do that for your man tonight (Or when you finally get some time).  I promise, he’ll appreciate it, in more ways than one.  And of course, you’ll know, cause you’ll see it (wink!!)!!

More to come…

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About jaisynaustin

What I write about is life...The way it changes and affects me every day. Love, heartache, and Mystery in relationships.

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