I Know You’re Independent But…

ImageSo ladies here’s the thing. Many of us for years have been taught to be about ourselves and to go after the things that we want. And I would be the first to say that you should be you. You should be the woman that is successful, that works her own job, has her own money, and can pay her own bills. Be a woman that can cook for herself and doesn’t need anyone, let alone a man to help her out of jam.

(Clapping sounds…) I definitely think that’s great. As a matter of fact, I’m giving you a round of applause writing this.

And I will never stop applauding the ladies that can do it all with no help from a man. For the others who would rather stand beside a man in all that I’d say this….and it may sound harsh but I think you’ll get it…..


I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Marriage is tough. It’s not for those that are weak. It’s not for the papas who want to be “rolling stones”…and it’s certainly not for the women who wanna be independent. Don’t let destiny child fool ya into thinking that independence is all it’s cracked up to be. Just think. They broke up and went solo, before trying to get back together. And while it’s great to be able to handle things on your own, most handle things better as a team and not just an individual.  Besides, Beyonce obviously didn’t think it was that great to be independent, as she’s now drunk in love with Jay-Z and baby Blue Ivy.

If you believe the Bible that I believe, you’ll see that nowhere does the subject of marriage come up where they deal with mainly one person. Even in the fall of Eden, God didn’t just hold Eve responsible. He expelled both of them as a couple. As husband and wife. The problem with today’s marriages is that men and women alike tend to say silly things like, “I don’t know who I am outside of marriage anymore…” to me, that’s not only a selfish statement, but also a stupid one. Nobody is supposed to get married to find out who they are. You are there that you can learn each other to ultimately lean on one another when troubles come. There are so many out there that are so busy doing for themselves that their spouses and children are suffering for it. It’s as if everybody wants the benefits but don’t want the work that comes with it. We have to understand that nothing is ever easy and we can never be far enough ahead of the pitfalls of marriage. And for those of you out there that see me as speaking ill of marriage. I’m not. I’m just being real. And I don’t know if there’s a real couple out there that would tell you otherwise.

The Bible says that when we marry we become one flesh. One being. We become joined at the ‘hip’ so to speak. There’s ultimately no true room for individuals that want everything their way. I’m not saying that you’re not still your own person or can’t ever be you. You don’t transform into this robot or whatever. It’s that you have to start thinking about more than yourself. You have be about the love the affection, about the catering to each other’s needs. And trust me, marriages need catering. They need romance and they need to be on the same page. They need to be like-minded. Always and forever. That’s the only way to get there.

So many out there have this unique notion that you get married so that you can go out and do your own thing. My wife calls it “doing me”. Yeah. That’s it. You got married so that you can “do you”. So that you could be this person that was free to handle situations and go all the places you see fit. To that I guess I would tell that person that believes that to just keep “doing you” and see how it works out. It may work, and it may not. Either way, more power to you.

More to come…


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About jaisynaustin

What I write about is life...The way it changes and affects me every day. Love, heartache, and Mystery in relationships.

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