Is the Grass really Greener???
She’s so – (flyyyyyyyyyyyy)
She’ll drive you right out of your mind
And steal your heart when you’re blind
Beware she’s schemin’, she’ll make you think you’re dreamin’
YOU’LL fall in love and you’ll be screamin’, demon ————-> Lyrics from Poison by BBD (Bel Biv Devoe)
How many times have I heard that song and thought: You’re right, you can’t trust a big butt and a smile…I mean think about it…it’s true… You see a girl, she has a big ole butt, and she gives that smile that says, “Yeah, I know like this…” And then you’re thinking, yeah I do…I wonder what it’d be like to have someone with a “be-donkey” like she has…
All I can say to that is….RRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! You gotta run, because it’s a straight up trap… That’s what BBD was saying when they said she was “Poison”. And just like poison, what she has will contaminate you fellas, and have you thinking it’s the best thing you ever had, when truth of the matter is, six months from now, you’ll be wishing that you never took part in it. I say that because, for both men and women, we tend to get caught up on the things that we don’t have. And it gets us in trouble. We leave one thing for another and realize that we shoulda stayed put. We should have appreciated the person we were with because despite their flaws, they had a lot of things that you actually wanted instead of just the looks.
Now I can’t lie…guys are sticklers for the way a woman looks. It’s probably because we’re possibly pre-wired that way or something. It actually just might be our biggest flaw. When it comes to looking at women the tighter the clothes the better…Long hair down to her butt, nice lips, thick hips (well in my case), and whatnot. All we care about from the jump is how sexy she is. Those are the things that grab our attention. Those are the things that INITIALLY pull us in. When I say initially, I do mean initially. Women, we see the way you look and it’s a beautiful thing. You talk to us, and we like your conversation because you’re putting your best foot forward, and it grabs us. We think, man I can see myself with this person long term. So we hook up, we get in a relationship with you…
…then it happens…six months to a year goes by…
You’ve become comfortable, more emotional, don’t laugh at our jokes, and dress only for comfort and not to be cute, or sex appeal. It’s just a tough pill to swallow. It’s like you were putting on a show to get us, and now that you do, you run as far as you can away from being that girl you were before…You’re not trying to bring sexy back, because you told sexy that she needed to leave town (this applies to men as well). We start arguing more about silly things, and then at the moment we are getting tired of it, here she comes…Mrs. Fiyyinnnee…Ms. Phat Booty, whatever you wanna call her. She’s there and she talks a good game. She says all the things your girl doesn’t say anymore…She’s romantic, thinks the world of you, and she tells you that all the time. Day after day, you look forward to seeing her, because she makes you feel like your former self. The more desirable you so to speak. At that moment, a man tends to think…How can I get that?
They say a man is only as faithful as his options. Well, I don’t know about that, because I do believe that there are some good men out there, but it is tough to be faithful to just one person either way. While I wouldn’t say that was 100% true, I wouldn’t call it blasphemy either. For most of us men, it’s about ego. It’s about being the sexiest man alive to his lady. How can he not be attractive to other women when they tell him things that you should be saying. Regardless of whether he loses weight or keeps himself up. On the other hand, for the ladies, I think it’s all about confidence. When a woman has confidence in herself, she shows it. When she starts losing weight, and hearing people tell her, “Girl, you look good…” or the perverbial, “You lost some weight…” Women eat that stuff up. Where it gets tricky, is when we tend to get comfortable. We stop doing all the things that made us such a great couple. That’s why the grass always looks so greener on the other side. It’s because it’s the possibility of having someone all shiny and new. Someone who you don’t have to worry about losing weight, or someone who is interested in learning about you again. Or takes part in your gifts for music, poetry, public speaking, or whatever your talent is.
So the question is…How do you keep it fresh? How do you go about staying romantic, when she wears those pajama pants with the holes in them? How do you still look at him like he’s sexy, when you see those tight-ee white-ees that used to be cute, but now, they just make him look like an old man (sorry if that was too graphic). I’ll tell you…you do whatever you can to take care of your relationship. Keep yourself up. One thing I’ve never understood a woman saying is…”What you won’t do another woman will…” And then not doing those same things that another woman would do. Granted everyone has to have their own standards, but com’on. Hold your significant other down. Fellas…take her out at least once a month. At least. Show her that you still care for her the way you did before. Tell her she’s beautiful to you, even on her worst days. Also, add some romance and mystery to the things you do. Be creative in your gift giving. Send some flowers to her job to let not only her, but everybody she works with know, how important she is to you. The same goes for you ladies. Take off the flats and put on some heels. Turn in those old pajamas, for some lingerie. Nobody wants to see you in sweats and a scarf all the time. Make sure your man knows that there isn’t any other man that can have your heart. Tell him, good job every now and again. Tell him, you appreciate him for the little things he does around the house. I guarantee you, it will help. Last but not least. Don’t just talk about those things…Show each other. I’d say about 9 times out of 10, most people already are with the person they want. But no one, and I do mean no one, is without adjustment. When you constantly look to better each other, you won’t have to worry about the color of the grass on the other side, because you will already have what you want.
More to come…