You’re Transparent…I’m Transluscent
In many churches I hear a lot of pastors, and preachers speak to their flock about being transparent. Transparent this, and transparent that…they want us to spill all of our secrets. At least that’s what most of think. We think that the pastor’s want to know all of our business while they go out and have their own secret lives apart from the church.
I would say that it isn’t true, but I think that’s already evident by my tone. That’s definitely not true. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very important to be transparent. But I would say that in being that honest, it’s more about being that way towards God and self first, than it is about telling others everything. I know myself, I am very honest from a surface level, but really try not to bring that much attention to myself. I see things as, if someone is interested in me, or notices me, then they would ask or find out what they wanted to know about me. That’s me, when I wanna know something about someone, I do everything I can to find out. I ask, I inquire.
In the bible, there’s a verse in the book of Proverbs that says: 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from troubles. I completely agree with this verse, because you just shouldn’t say everything. No one should, in my opinion. Remember when you were a kid and parents popped you for talking out of turn, or saying something that you had no business saying? Exactly, most of us do, and we do the same with our kids even now. We start out making sure they don’t say certain things, because it’s just not wise for them to do so. And as parents, we have the life experiences to back up what we’re teaching. Most people probably don’t want to hear it all because they think they’ll be expected to tell everything as well. It’s actually a good thing to leave some things up to the imagination.
DISCLAIMER: I am in no shape or forming telling people to lie, or hold back important things that people should actually know like, telling your partner you have “HERPES SIMPLEX 10” or something crazy like that.
I rarely see myself as transparent. And while maybe I should allow others to see more, I would rather describe most Christians as translucent. Sure you can see some things, but not everything is open to plain sight. And honestly, I think that’s the way it should be. Most would say it is transparency that should be the accepted practice. But let’s take a second to be real. No one, and I mean no one tells everyone everything on their mind. And they honestly shouldn’t in my opinion. Not because honesty isn’t the best policy. It’s because the human condition is very fragile, and not everyone can actually handle total honesty. I’m sure that there are some husbands out there that wanna tell their wives some things, but don’t know how to say them without sounding rude. On the flip side, I’m positive there are some women out there that haven’t said everything that’s on their mind concerning their marriage. Most of us would most likely end up being divorced if that were the case. Like I said, being somewhat translucent is better, than being transparent because some things are truly left better unsaid.
Take for example a car. I know right now, my windows aren’t tinted. You can see everything through my windows. There’s no distinction of the things that are private to me, and the things that I want the public to see. With that said, I can’t leave anything out on the seat of my car of extreme value, because it would be like inviting others to come in and take it. On the other hand, my wife, has tinted windows. Her car leave things up to the imagination. So if there’s something she has accidentally left on the back seat, not everyone can see it. You would almost have to be right up on her window in order to peak through, and even then it isn’t very clear. I guess the drawback to that, is the people who are nosy, might just do that and wonder what she’s hiding in there. I wouldn’t say that she’s hiding anything by having her windows tinted, but she is just saying that some things should remain private. Some things are not meant for the general public. It’s nobody’s business, that you have an extra set of clothes, or the heels you wore at work in the back seat. And it’s no one’s business to know everything that you don’t talk about. That’s what I’m saying here. Some things should be left to the imagination. And while that can get people in trouble, the truth will eventually come out. It always does.
I look at myself as not being transparent to people. I am however, transparent to those close to me. I truly believe you have to have the balance of being both transparent and translucent. Going back to the example of the car. I have to not allow everyone to see it all, because of judgement. There’s only one judge, and I don’t have to appear transparent to him. He already knows me. I don’t have to let down the windows to my car so he can see in, because he already has a key to my car (that’s deep isn’t it!). Same with some of my family. They have the key to that which I hold dear. And you know how that is….we only give keys to those we completely trust with our prized possessions. Think about it.
More to come…